A long, long time ago, on a website that is this exact website, I would frequently blog about things that inspired me and kept me going.

Until one day, I stopped.

What happened during that time?

WELL. Essentially I had a little bit of an imposter syndrome crisis. I had completely lost faith in my ability as a writer, as well as my ability as an actor. I quite literally wanted to erase all my past projects, my website, all my books, films, ANY evidence of creativity that I had put my heart and soul into.

I took a break. A big break. I considering taking up a teaching degree, as I was already spending a lot of my time tutoring and mentoring young writers and students.

During that big break, I did a little bit of meditation. During a few sessions of meditation, something had struck me.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as an actor?

Pictured: Marie Kelly smiling cheekily with five copies of her newest book, a collection of poetry titled ‘Me/You’. — Pictured: Marie Kelly smiling cheekily with five copies of her newest book, a collection of poetry titled ‘*Me/You’*.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as a writer?

I had to be completely honest with myself; I had not done everything I could possibly do.

Truth be told, I had spent most of my creative time resting on my laurels, expecting things to come my way instead of actively chasing dreams and goals.

It’s been almost two years since I had that realisation, and I can safely say, that I am doing much more as a writer, as an actor and as a creator than I have in previous years. Despite living through a literal global pandemic and a city where all work has been dried up for several months.

So, if you’ve read this far and you’re wondering why I’m blabbering on about this now and here, here’s why.

Today, I had a lazy day. I was starting to feel guilty for it, until I realised that I hadn’t actually been lazy at all.

I’d spent the morning monitoring orders and competition entries in relation to my new book. I also practised lines. I took care of my health and my body by exercising. I spent time in the sunshine and fresh air.

What felt like a lazy day, was actually still a day of work. A slower day than most, however, that’s okay. We all deserve to be able to have a slower day. It doesn’t mean we are not working. It doesn’t mean we are not doing everything we possibly can. It just means, that for that particular slow day, there isn’t much to do, OR that our body has a lower capacity for activity.

And that is perfectly fine.

So, reader, if you are still with me, remember to take a breath. Remember to take a day of rest and spend some time making slow progress, rather than accelerating towards a burnout.

You do you. You can.

xxmk

It looks like 2017 is coming to an end.

I've been sitting down and thinking about whether or not I achieved most or at least some of my goals for the year.

Did I put myself out there? Yes.
Did I get more paid work as an actor? Yes.
Did I try new things? Yes!
Did I meet new and exciting like minded creatives? Yes.
Did I think and worry less, and just get on with the show? Yes, and no.

I learnt so much from people, experiences and some setbacks. I leapt over hurdles, I somehow managed to juggle producing four films for three separate competitions in five months whilst still assisting others with their own separate projects.

My love for performing was probably what pushed me to get things done this year. I love taking on a new character, analysing their actions and words, then bringing them to life. I was fortunate enough to work with great directors and writers, who helped my characters and my skills flourish.

There are so many things I want to do next year. Because I'm heading to Peru in late June to teach English, I'm considering learning about documentaries or travel videos, so I can keep creating while I teach. On top of that, I would love to perform as much as possible before I leave.

Six months is both a short and long amount of time.

The last six months were my busiest of 2017, I hope that continues into the first six months of 2018. Look out world. Here I come.

xxmk