Well, it's been a minute!

A long, long time ago, on a website that is this exact website, I would frequently blog about things that inspired me and kept me going.

Until one day, I stopped.

What happened during that time?

WELL. Essentially I had a little bit of an imposter syndrome crisis. I had completely lost faith in my ability as a writer, as well as my ability as an actor. I quite literally wanted to erase all my past projects, my website, all my books, films, ANY evidence of creativity that I had put my heart and soul into.

I took a break. A big break. I considering taking up a teaching degree, as I was already spending a lot of my time tutoring and mentoring young writers and students.

During that big break, I did a little bit of meditation. During a few sessions of meditation, something had struck me.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as an actor?

Pictured: Marie Kelly smiling cheekily with five copies of her newest book, a collection of poetry titled ‘Me/You’.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as a writer?

I had to be completely honest with myself; I had not done everything I could possibly do.

Truth be told, I had spent most of my creative time resting on my laurels, expecting things to come my way instead of actively chasing dreams and goals.

It’s been almost two years since I had that realisation, and I can safely say, that I am doing much more as a writer, as an actor and as a creator than I have in previous years. Despite living through a literal global pandemic and a city where all work has been dried up for several months.

So, if you’ve read this far and you’re wondering why I’m blabbering on about this now and here, here’s why.

Today, I had a lazy day. I was starting to feel guilty for it, until I realised that I hadn’t actually been lazy at all.

I’d spent the morning monitoring orders and competition entries in relation to my new book. I also practised lines. I took care of my health and my body by exercising. I spent time in the sunshine and fresh air.

What felt like a lazy day, was actually still a day of work. A slower day than most, however, that’s okay. We all deserve to be able to have a slower day. It doesn’t mean we are not working. It doesn’t mean we are not doing everything we possibly can. It just means, that for that particular slow day, there isn’t much to do, OR that our body has a lower capacity for activity.

And that is perfectly fine.

So, reader, if you are still with me, remember to take a breath. Remember to take a day of rest and spend some time making slow progress, rather than accelerating towards a burnout.

You do you. You can.

xxmk

That's Not Me

Last night I saw a lovely Aussie indie film That's Not Me at Kino Cinemas. I highly recommend it for anyone who is working in the film and television industry (because there are so many characters that I recognised from my day to day life) but I also recommend it if you love going to the movies. It's so heartfelt and beautiful. I even had the luck of meeting writer/actor  Alice Foulcher  when we came out of the cinema. 

There's something in the zeitgeist at the moment in Australian film and tv - there are a few things I've seen where the premise is someone struggling in the industry. I was even apart of the process of making a webseries HActresses  (which launched on Monday) which deals with two women trying to get a big break. There was another web series launched at Melbourne WebFest  which dealt with similar themes. I even wrote a few short webisodes about two housemates struggling as writers and directors (yet to be produced as other projects got in the way).

But what I find that is incredible about the Australian industry, is that even though we are small and very interconnected, when similar ideas pop up - there are hundreds of things that also make them unique.

That's Not Me  got me thinking about why I want to act, why I want to write and why I want to direct films. At first I thought it was because my Aunty gifted me this little star when I was three years old...

My little Hollywood star - so I don't need a real one ;)

... but delving deeper it's because the process of  making a film or episode is like being a cog in a big machine. No matter how long or short your stay on set, everyone has an important role to play and when the machine is up and running, it's a fantastic thing to be apart of. You spend so much time together and there is always something to learn from someone, even if it's not something you thought you'd be interested in.

The team behind HActresses  - photo by Sarah Walker 

Every set, every project, every director, actor, writer, gaffer, soundie, cinematographer, set designer, makeup artist, extra, set, continuity, producer, art designer, manger  has something different and new to bring to the table. No set is the same and gosh, that's why I love it so much.  You are constantly prepared for and expecting the unexpected. I've learnt so much on big productions that I was able to bring that experience to smaller productions, and then in turn, bring the experience of smaller productions to bigger ones again.

Little old me, chatting with my DP Nick Kerr on the set of No Matter What,  a short I wrote and directed.   Photo by Stephen Loats.

I can't wait to get into the editing process for my short film No Matter What,  it will be another new experience for me.  

This blog post unintentionally turned into a love letter to the industry, rather than a short and sweet analysis of it. Whoops. Back to the usual stoic responses to life soon... 

xxmk 

Double checking the footage with the cast and crew of No Matter What. Photo by Stephen Loats 

When it rains, it pours

It is a bit of an old saying, but it's the most accurate description of my life at the moment. For a long time, I had too much free time on my hands, I was desperate to get my hands dirty but could only find short term projects. 

I've taken up work at Channel 31 interviewing some great musicians for their new show SHUFFLE; Melbourne. This included sitting down and having a chat with the chill king, Pete Murray. I'm too excited about this new venture, it's something I've always wanted to do, just sit down and chat with creatives, and maybe pick their brains a bit.

You can watch my interview with Pete here. 

So that was one huge venture. The what also came to pass was that my new book, Postcard Poetry,  has arrived in all its glory. Stay tuned, because there will be a launch and a poetry reading for it coming soon.

Then bam, alam, slam, ding dong - I've fallen heart first into Melbourne's slam poetry community and I am in love. I took part in the Australian Poetry Slam Victorian heat in Frankston on Tuesday. It was a great night of sharing and was followed by bonding over some cheeky Nandos later on. I headed over to the Melba Spiegletent for Slamalamadingdong's opening round for the National Poetry Slam. This was a very emotional night of sharing, especially as Gabriella Georges  was the featured artist for the night and her poignantly beautiful performance was centred on grief and loss.

Just when I needed a moment to lie down and breathe, I was sacrificing my Saturday morning sleep in. I made my directorial debut for a short film I've written, No Matter What. This film is going to be entered in the Village Cinemas  and Open Channel  UnScene Competition.  I'm so excited, it's a highly stylised film and set in the future, in keeping with the competitions theme of "the future of film". We have one more day of production and then we're gonna have a long stint in post-production with some cheeky visual effects.

I'm so glad that I've got all these creatives that surround me in my life. It's encouraging and inspiring me to keep creating, keep dreaming and the points don't matter. 

xxmk 

My First Slam

Slam poetry has always been something that I've wanted to work towards as a poet, yet I never had confidence to give it a go. 

That all changed this past weekend at the Byron Writers Festival. I took part in a slam poetry workshop, taught by Zohab Khan and put together by Miles Merrill and Word Travels. I found techniques I loved using and felt confident with, and a subject I felt passion in me when I spoke. 

Only a few hours and a few drafts after writing my poem "Play The Game", I was the twelfth poet onstage performing and slamming for the very first time. My nerves were everywhere and I could feel my body swaying as I spoke. But golly gee it was so carthartic and such a buzz to have performed my own words for over 50 people.

Slam extraordinaires Miles Merrill, Zohab Khan and Arielle Cottingham showcased their brilliance between the other poets and myself. Speaking to Arielle, Miles and Zohab afterwards, my confidence was boosted once more to follow slam and try try try again.

The next day, I visited The Rails for the 25th anniversary of Poets at the Rails. Arielle was a guest performer and encouraged me to enter into the open mic. 

"Do your new shit!" she cheered, a cheeky smile on her face. 

So there I was, performing a new piece in a new environment to a new crowd. It's addictive, and every time I chant my patterned words, I can't wait to do more. 

So here are my goals: 

• get off paper
• involve my whole self in the poem
• don't stop

So fingers crossed you'll see more of my slams in the months to come. If you want to see my slam from Sunday at The Rails, click here. 

xxmk 

Byron Bay Writers Festival

As I won tickets earlier this year, this weekend I'm in Byron Bay for the annual writers festival. So far, the speakers and talks have been very interesting, and there has been patience and balance in the panel discussions.

The most interesting so far was held at the Rails in the centre of town. Called "My Most Controversial Thought", speakers were poet Miles Merrill, activist and writer Clementine Ford, and the creator of 'Hot Chicks with Big Brains' Bri Lee. 

There were fantastic ideas and notions thrown in to the air, and since I've been looking into my thoughts and actions with a microscope. Specifically when it comes to supporting others and the ways in which we do that. 

Tomorrow I'll be taking part in poetry workshops in order to improve my spoken word (slam) poetry skills. 

 xxmk