Well, it's been a minute!

A long, long time ago, on a website that is this exact website, I would frequently blog about things that inspired me and kept me going.

Until one day, I stopped.

What happened during that time?

WELL. Essentially I had a little bit of an imposter syndrome crisis. I had completely lost faith in my ability as a writer, as well as my ability as an actor. I quite literally wanted to erase all my past projects, my website, all my books, films, ANY evidence of creativity that I had put my heart and soul into.

I took a break. A big break. I considering taking up a teaching degree, as I was already spending a lot of my time tutoring and mentoring young writers and students.

During that big break, I did a little bit of meditation. During a few sessions of meditation, something had struck me.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as an actor?

Pictured: Marie Kelly smiling cheekily with five copies of her newest book, a collection of poetry titled ‘Me/You’.

Had I actually done everything I could possibly do as a writer?

I had to be completely honest with myself; I had not done everything I could possibly do.

Truth be told, I had spent most of my creative time resting on my laurels, expecting things to come my way instead of actively chasing dreams and goals.

It’s been almost two years since I had that realisation, and I can safely say, that I am doing much more as a writer, as an actor and as a creator than I have in previous years. Despite living through a literal global pandemic and a city where all work has been dried up for several months.

So, if you’ve read this far and you’re wondering why I’m blabbering on about this now and here, here’s why.

Today, I had a lazy day. I was starting to feel guilty for it, until I realised that I hadn’t actually been lazy at all.

I’d spent the morning monitoring orders and competition entries in relation to my new book. I also practised lines. I took care of my health and my body by exercising. I spent time in the sunshine and fresh air.

What felt like a lazy day, was actually still a day of work. A slower day than most, however, that’s okay. We all deserve to be able to have a slower day. It doesn’t mean we are not working. It doesn’t mean we are not doing everything we possibly can. It just means, that for that particular slow day, there isn’t much to do, OR that our body has a lower capacity for activity.

And that is perfectly fine.

So, reader, if you are still with me, remember to take a breath. Remember to take a day of rest and spend some time making slow progress, rather than accelerating towards a burnout.

You do you. You can.

xxmk

It's been a while...

I've been somewhere between too busy and not busy enough for a while now. Whenever I have a point of low activity, part of me is grateful for having time to breathe and the other part is shouting "YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING".

I've had a lot of fun on set in recent weeks. I recently helped a friend Sarah with her short film for university, named Tomato Soup . First of all, I was blown away by the script and then when I saw her block out the scenes and shoot - I knew this was a film that should get all the backing it can, because it will go very far.

You can sponsor Tomato Soup at this link or just simply follow the Instagram for it.

Reviewing my continuity/script supervisor notes on set for Tomato Soup . Photo by Sarah Jo Fraser

I also got to help out my friend Nick on his short film, Before Our Time, which will also be entered into the UnScene Film Competition.  That involved a very early morning of wrangling extras, assisting with costumes and making coffees. It was a fun and short shoot and interesting to see what would happen on set as it is a very VFX heavy film.

Since then I've been an extra in a music video for the awesome music duo, Peachnoise. The style of the music video was super 1950s, though the music is fairly modern and mint. The costume and set design were awesome. I got to play a little diner gal handing out milkshakes.

You can check out Peachnoise on Facebook, Instagram and Spotify - just search their name! 

Also the gals who ran the costume department work from this page, tell them I sent you! 

On set for the Peachnoise  music video. Photo by Chloe Towan 

Last week, I had a launch for my fourth book, Postcard Poetry at the Melbourne Young Writers' Studio. It was a great night and a little nerve wrecking standing on a ladder whilst I read some of my poems. Hopefully I'll be able to go to more nights and events like that in the future.

Reading one of my poems at my book launch. Photo by Gabrielle Kelly 

Meanwhile my little project No Matter What is in postproduction, getting its sound mixed and teeny VFX added. Then BOOM. I'll be able to show you all some movie magic. To show behind the scenes snaps of my film, I created an Instagram page for film projects that I make and produce - Cut To Black Productions.

You can check out the Instagram for Cut To Black here.

Catch you when I have more stories to tell  xxmk 

That's Not Me

Last night I saw a lovely Aussie indie film That's Not Me at Kino Cinemas. I highly recommend it for anyone who is working in the film and television industry (because there are so many characters that I recognised from my day to day life) but I also recommend it if you love going to the movies. It's so heartfelt and beautiful. I even had the luck of meeting writer/actor  Alice Foulcher  when we came out of the cinema. 

There's something in the zeitgeist at the moment in Australian film and tv - there are a few things I've seen where the premise is someone struggling in the industry. I was even apart of the process of making a webseries HActresses  (which launched on Monday) which deals with two women trying to get a big break. There was another web series launched at Melbourne WebFest  which dealt with similar themes. I even wrote a few short webisodes about two housemates struggling as writers and directors (yet to be produced as other projects got in the way).

But what I find that is incredible about the Australian industry, is that even though we are small and very interconnected, when similar ideas pop up - there are hundreds of things that also make them unique.

That's Not Me  got me thinking about why I want to act, why I want to write and why I want to direct films. At first I thought it was because my Aunty gifted me this little star when I was three years old...

My little Hollywood star - so I don't need a real one ;)

... but delving deeper it's because the process of  making a film or episode is like being a cog in a big machine. No matter how long or short your stay on set, everyone has an important role to play and when the machine is up and running, it's a fantastic thing to be apart of. You spend so much time together and there is always something to learn from someone, even if it's not something you thought you'd be interested in.

The team behind HActresses  - photo by Sarah Walker 

Every set, every project, every director, actor, writer, gaffer, soundie, cinematographer, set designer, makeup artist, extra, set, continuity, producer, art designer, manger  has something different and new to bring to the table. No set is the same and gosh, that's why I love it so much.  You are constantly prepared for and expecting the unexpected. I've learnt so much on big productions that I was able to bring that experience to smaller productions, and then in turn, bring the experience of smaller productions to bigger ones again.

Little old me, chatting with my DP Nick Kerr on the set of No Matter What,  a short I wrote and directed.   Photo by Stephen Loats.

I can't wait to get into the editing process for my short film No Matter What,  it will be another new experience for me.  

This blog post unintentionally turned into a love letter to the industry, rather than a short and sweet analysis of it. Whoops. Back to the usual stoic responses to life soon... 

xxmk 

Double checking the footage with the cast and crew of No Matter What. Photo by Stephen Loats